The Appointment

(Forgive me!! I don’t know poetry but wanted to try..)


The Appointment
Many things I want to say…

Even though some are very deep

But still I wish I had a stage

To tell everyone how I feel.


Philosophical… Whew!! I wish I’m not!

But down to earth and true.

A crazy stop in the journey is over

And I’m being carried through.


Its a joy to look back

And even more joy to look ahead.

But right where I am.

I can’t find the right emotion to shed.


Born for a Purpose,

That’s greater than me

My life’s insignificant 

In the midst of the Light I see.


It gives me peace to know

That I belong to a bigger Plan.

That I am not alone

And every step is in His Hand.


There are dreams that I can carry

And there are ones I need to leave

NO matter what!!; I have a Father and  Friend

Who can meet my every need.


When I didn’t have a form

And not even a name

He gave me a job

And enough of His Grace.


I am standing and knocking at the door of a busy world

Waiting and watching, naive and swirled.

He picks me up, with a warm embrace.

And every doubt is gone…

When I see His Face.

-Callie

Published in: on March 25, 2009 at 7:06 pm  Comments (2)  

Would You show me the Way?

Well, a lot happened over the last few days. A month has swept fast quite quickly, but my hands were quite full.A lot of things happened throughout these days, a lot of times where I heard the profound voice of my Master.


One of my favorite Scripture is Psalm 32:8 ” I [the Lord] will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.”

One thing that I pray everyday, and say almost every time I pray is “God guide me”, I say it so many times that now I wonder if I even mean it when I say it.When I read this Scripture recently again, my Master spoke something more.

God’s guidance reaches us in different levels.

Level 1 – Instruction

In this age of the machines, we have gadgets to simplify or and complicate most of our tasks. Most of these stuff come with an instruction manual, they tell us how to use them, the precautions, and some basic troubleshooting information as well.

Most of us who know nothing about engineering design and other technical jargon can handle most of these paraphernalia by ourselves because these manuals do a great job in enabling us operate complicated stuff through an easy sequence of steps by skipping theoretical details.
In our lives too, sometimes God gives us just instructions and nothing more.

Genesis 12:1
The LORD had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.

Just an instruction!!, no strategy, no explanation and no route map.

If at that point God were to explain to Abraham his rather long journey to Cannan followed by the adventures of his grandson, and then the bondage of his generation and their wanderings in the wilderness, their disobedience and stiff neckness, and then how this small race would help bring Light to an eternally condemned world. Abraham’s head would have begun to twirl and would have definitely turned down God’s direction to leave Haran and missed his spot in God’s perfect Vision.

Maybe that’s why God sometimes just gives us instructions and a promise and asks us to get going. When we try to find an explanation, at this level. We wont find it, and even if we do find one, we would still be clueless.

But what we can do is to trust and obey. And follow his directions immaterial of whether we understand it or not. God does not go to the details not because he wants to show off His bossy attitude, but because we don’t have the capacity to understand it. When we continue in this wonderful journey with our Master, slowly but gloriously we will begin to understand the reason for His ways.

Level II – Teaching

For some of us, the only kind of teaching we are exposed to are the never ending, lullaby lectures that we hear in the class room. This kind of teaching is one way traffic, the ‘guru’s’ monologue keeps going non-stop irrespective of whether the listeners get a hang of it or not.

Well, this is not the way our Master teaches. He actually does not go to the next lesson until we have learnt the previous one completely well. Many of us get stuck in our lives, primarily because we refuse to learn our lessons. The moment we listen to our Master’s Voice in every circumstance of our life and learn what He has to teach us, we would be progressing everyday.

But our problem is that we are either too busy to listen to His voice, or too spiritual confessing victory that we fail to learn what God wants to teach.

James 1 : 2-5

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

God asks his children to consider every trial as an opportunity for joy[NLT]. Because He plans a perfect lesson in the midst of each of those tough times. These lessons are taught by ‘faith-testing’ exercises and completing them require perseverance. On finishing each of these lessons, we attain a new level of maturity, A higher level of relationship with our God.

In order to understand and implement these lessons we need quite a lot of wisdom and understanding, that God promises to give in generous dosage. However we are busy praying for deliverance instead of asking God for wisdom to understand His teaching.

One of the most exciting levels of God’s guidance is the part where he teaches us.The more we learn, the more rewarding journey becomes. We begin to see things with more clarity and make decisions with definite direction and discretion.

Level – III – Counsel

We think that if God leads us then our path will be ‘fault proof’. I wish it were that way, but God just does not work like that. He does not believe in military discipline, He is a perfectionist but allows us to make our own mistakes and attain perfection in our pace but in His time.

This level of guidance called His Counsel helps us out when we really mess up somewhere. He does not stand there with crossed arms accusing you like the rest of the whole world, but shows you a way out in a place where you least expect.

We are so afraid of making mistakes that we do not step out at all. Mistakes are maybe not part of religion, but they are definitely part of relationship. God knows that, and that is why in His way of guidance He has made provision for counsel. To guide us out of any mess that we may get into.

Job 12:13
To God belong wisdom and power;counsel and understanding are his.

Don’t be afraid of taking your messes to God. If we follow His counsel, He can make glorious things come forth out of our mistakes.But if we are going to regret and condemn ourselves living out of guilt and self pity, our life would become a burden.

Level IV – Watches over me

God’s way of saying this is “with My eye upon you”. What God really means is that, God does not just give guidance and gets done with our life. He is always watching over us. He involves Himself in every small activity of our life, and loves it even more when we acknowledge Him in all our daily routines.

We really are never alone, God never leaves us that way. He is watching over each of our thought, emotion, and action. Not like a policeman, but as someone who wants to make sure that we get nothing lesser than the BEST.

When you are traveling alone, or awake working late hours at night , or in the midst of people among whom you look really small, or in the midst of a crisis all by yourself. Just pause!! BE still, and see WHO’s eye is on you.

May God’ s guidance be with you throughout your journey!!!

Published in: on January 29, 2009 at 5:27 pm  Comments (2)  

The red-purse


I was frantically searching for my money-purse today. Inspite, of my friends and parents reprimanding me, I have not yet learnt the habit of carrying it everywhere I go, so I usually lose track of where my purse is; but then., I’ve never lost it.I retrieve it when required.

Today, I needed to give money to a friend so I was trying to locate it. I searched for it in every ususal place.I cleared up the mountain of papers,books and other junk on my table and started my expedition of finding my red purse.The electricity went off and if I continued any further considering my exceptional eyesight, it would be a vain attempt. Moreover, it was nearing the time to board my bus to college, and I would in no way want to strike the first day of my exam on a wrong note.

Caught in a deluge of information, formulas, principles, names and propositions relating to Management. The image of my red purse tried floating through, ressisting the strong currents of my brain waves working hard with the answer sheet.
After the ordeal, inside the exam hall. Thorougly exhausted, and with fingers frozen with pain. I forgot about the red purse. I had a peaceful nap in the bus, and then returned home to continue. I slept for a while and then, the red purse came back. No alarm could have woken me up faster!!! I woke up with a startle and headed straight downstairs and began looking for it.
I searched and searched, in the process I cleared so much of junk(my study hols quota!!) that was piled up in the hall.I emptied the huge stack of old papers and believe me, I understood the meaning of “nook and corner” only today. 
No avail, I could’nt find it anywhere. I started mentally preparing myself to be given up for condemnation to be proved guilty and then to receive punishment. I heard the voice of my mom in my head, “You are such an irresponsible person!!”, my dad, “You are lazy and unorganized”.Then finally the verdict, “No more money, no more cards, everything will be stopped hereafter”. Wow!! my brain was enjoying a roller-coaster ride for free.
It is great to have your grandparents around, and I have the privelege of having my loving grandma living with me.When she saw my frenzy,she patiently asked me some questions about the whereabouts of my purse, when and where I last saw it, and then gave me a stick and asked me to move it under the TV table and feel for my purse there. I didn’t really believe that my purse would lie in that dark dirty corner. But I just did what she said. 
Bravo! Eureka!! I found my long lost red purse covered with a layer of dust. I picked it up wiped off the cobwebs that had gotten over it.And then I gave it to my grandmother, I said “Ammachi, Here! you keep it and I’ll get it from you when I want. Only you can keep it safe”.
I just made a mental decision to never throw my stuff around, but this experience taught me just more than that.
I too, like my red purse sometimes wander off to a dark dirty corner. No one really notices, at first. But then as my behaviours begin to change, my attitudes change, and when laziness creeps in, then do people realize that I’m no where to be found.But there I am!! covered with dust and cobwebs  in a dirty dark corner.
My Master finds me.., no matter where I’d side track and then give me to the Safe Hands of the Holy Spirit (forgive me if I am theologically wrong!!) The Holy Spirit is the only One who truly knows me fully well.He takes care of me, nurtures me, gives me a gentle pat when I am wrong and sometimes a tough spank when I throw a tantrum. 
So safe and comfortable are His hands.If I need to be conected with God always, then the I need to surrender myself completely to the Holy Spirit. We can’t really have ‘more’ of Him in your life rather we have to surrender the whole of us to Him.The Master may need me any time, sometimes for a Big thing and sometimes just for a little mundane errand,and if I am not found in the place where He left me then I lose a big opportunity to serve Him. So I decide to cling on firmly to the Holy Spirit.
“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,”[1 Peter 5:6]
Sometimes we consider the Holy Spirit just as an offer in the pacakage called ‘salvation’.It is true that the moment you surrender your lives to Christ Jesus, the Holy Sprit comes and lives in your hearts. But thats only part of the story, it is we who have to give Him ultimate ownership and leadership of our heart,mind,soul, and body.Doing so helps us to walk around truly as sons and daughters of the living God.
Like my red-purse, now that I am in safe Refuge, He’ll make sure that I don’t wander off but stay secure, so that when my Master needs me he can pick me up and use me.
Published in: on November 7, 2008 at 4:44 pm  Leave a Comment  

The prepared path

Campus interviews.. the buzz word of the hour .India has become the second largest pool of engineering and software personnel in the world (17 million people by the end of 2008)*. Colleges and universities compete with each other to get their students to be recruited by the famous industry names. Every year they lure thousands of students into their colleges by flashing fat numbers of the percentage of students recruited and the compensation (ranging from 2.5 lakhs to 8 lakhs per annum) offered to them.At the beginning of the final year, the big names arrive, and when you get yourself into one of these names, a sense of achievement takes over.

I want to be a part of these big names too. I’d love to see my strengths unfold to action. I’d love to be actually being able to buy something and say ‘I bought it’. I’d love to say ‘I’m working in ———– as a ———— expert’. I’d love to see something actually being born out of my creativity. I’d loved to be called as an earning member of my family and be a part of supporting my selfless family. I’d be proud to put my own tithe offering in the church….

I’ll stop here and get captain imagination to come back to planet earth otherwise he’ll get you to think that I’m starting to get crazy.

God led me to make a commitment to Him when I was 15 years old and I drew my own path to fulfill that commitment. I worked on a strategy that seemed logical to me to accomplish the vision that God had in mind. I asked God to implement my plans so that I could effectively execute His vision. No prize for guessing!!!….I failed miserably. Maybe not ‘miserable’ in the way the world looks, but it crushed my spirit. I lost the passion that I had towards my commitment, and I started concentrating only on my ‘net worth’.

But for God, your net-worth means nothing; its your ‘self-worth’ that matters because the price He paid for that was the death of His Son. For everything else there’s ‘MASTER‘ card. No interest costs, No annual charges, No hidden costs, No operating costs!!! Totally funded by the ‘Treasury of the Almighty King’. So God began meticulously working on my self-worth, God used my crushed spirit to teach me about Him and about me. He showed me my life. He was refining me like a silversmith would refine silver, with utmost care, because He knew that if He left the silver in the flames for a little longer, it would be destroyed. God’s not finished yet.. but a part of His work stands complete; and I can see some of the sparkle.

Now when I stand in the threshold of yet another transition, suddenly my past haunts me. Though I’d learnt a lot of things that I’d never have learnt otherwise, the experience of being divorced from your dreams is rather painful. I love God with all my heart and I don’t want one thing to happen from my life that He does not approve of. He owns my life not once but twice; once when He created it and the second time was when He bought it by the blood of His Son. For a moment, I forgot that it was this painful experience that got me to enjoy a different level of relationship with God. My past took over and fear gripped me.

While I was brooding over this, and honestly opened up my heart to God, He spoke to me very clearly through a church sermon, “Do not consider the things of the past.. Behold I make all things new.” The voice of God spoke to my heart.

Usually when there is a promise the best strategy to see it work in your life is this.. “Obey the command preceding it and wait for the promise to unfold”. I’ve been obedient and now I’m waiting for God to open new paths so that I can fullfill my commitment and accomplish His vision. No heartbreaks this time!! because now its His plan and therefore His providence. Is this going to stop me from dreaming? Nope!! not all….. I have the freedom to dream provided I’ve given God the eraser and the pencil. Moreover, I can never have a dream that is better than God’s plan.

Maybe there’s something in your life too that’s coming back and discouraging you. Those were the flames God used to make you shine. The devil’s scheme is to make the memory of those flames to shame you and suck your energy and faith so that you won’t move forward. Get back.. God has unimaginably great things in store for His shining silver.

For all of you out there getting ready for a head start in your career…All the Best!! God be with you!

Isaiah 43:18-19
Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing…

Malachi 3:3
He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver; He will purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer to the LORD, An offering in righteousness.

Published in: on June 1, 2008 at 2:54 pm  Leave a Comment